YA Review: What I Leave Behind

What I Leave Behind by Alison McGhee
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

There was so much pain and emotion, yet so much power in this short little novel. Sixteen year old Will walks every night as he processes through the grief of losing his father to suicide. You immediately get the sense that this is a good kid who has been traumatized and is trying to find a way to deal with it in a positive manner. "Don't let the bastards get you down," are some of the words his father left him with before committing suicide. Something his father did not leave him with, his cornbread recipe, and it is a driving force for Will throughout the book.

This was such a unique approach to writing a novel. 100 chapters and 100 words in each chapter. The number 100 factors in both structurally and symbolically. You never feel shortchanged by the strict adherence to 100 words because McGhee uses them so masterfully. You feel like you are walking right along with Will as he helps others and leaves little Dollar Store gifts for them. The character is so observant of others feelings that you can see it was part of his deeper feelings of guilt regarding his father's suicide and his best friend Playa's rape.

I had all of the emotions by the end of this book. Great read for an adult. Great read for any teenager, but especially one who may shy away from long books.

Would I Read It Again? Yes. It took me like an hour to read it the first time. I don't know how you would categorize it, but it is shorter than a novella. 

Recommend: Yes. I recommend for both adults and teens. This is a good opportunity for teens who don't like to read longer texts. There are trigger warnings for suicide and rape. It starts off with an interesting hook. 

YA Review: The Astonishing Color of After

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"My mother is a bird. This isn't like some William Faulkner stream-of consciousness metaphorical crap. My mother. Is literally. A bird."

The start of this book is what caught me. It wasn't long into it that I realized that despite Leigh, the main character, denying any connection to William Faulkner that she was indeed wrong. Emily X.R. Pan took Faulkner's technique to the next level. I loved the structure of this story that goes from the past to the present and back again and I never even as much as stumbled along the way. (And that says a lot because I first read this via audiobook.) This was an awesome debut novel!

Leigh Sanders is a half Taiwanese and half white teenager whose mother suffered from depression for an extended period of time before she committed suicide. She feels guilty as she grieves because the same day that her mother died she was kissing her best friend Axel. Her grief sends her on a journey to meet her maternal grandparents, chase after the bird who is her mother, and learn about secrets in her family's past.

This book is about navigating mental health and grief. Grieving a loved one, grieving a broken family, grieving what could have been and what should have been. It is so befitting that Pan chooses color as one of the main devices for helping her main characters, who are teenagers, express their feelings to each other. And it is amazing and moving the way Pan creates the juxtaposition of vibrant colors versus what one might feel is the absence of color when death, in this case suicide occurs.

The magical realism is superbly interwoven into the narrative and reminded me of one of Toni Morrison's works, Song of Solomon. The bird, the ghosts and the time traveling are all so believable that you almost forget that it they are magical elements and not real ones. Ok, I have some additional gushing. I loved this book and I can't wait for it to be considered a classic. If I was in the classroom I would either teach it or have book clubs as well as put it in my classroom library.

I received a free hard copy of this book at the ALAN Workshop.

Would I Read it Again? Yeeeeeeeesssssssssssss absolutely! I loved the audio version, when I wasn't able to keep going on the audiobook, I picked up where I left off in my hard copy.

Recommend: Yes. There are trigger warnings you should be aware of in the novel. It deals with a mother's depression and suicide as well as the family's grief. But you can definitely tell that this author is a scholar of some of the great writers such as Toni Morrison and William Faulkner.