YA Review: The Astonishing Color of After

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"My mother is a bird. This isn't like some William Faulkner stream-of consciousness metaphorical crap. My mother. Is literally. A bird."

The start of this book is what caught me. It wasn't long into it that I realized that despite Leigh, the main character, denying any connection to William Faulkner that she was indeed wrong. Emily X.R. Pan took Faulkner's technique to the next level. I loved the structure of this story that goes from the past to the present and back again and I never even as much as stumbled along the way. (And that says a lot because I first read this via audiobook.) This was an awesome debut novel!

Leigh Sanders is a half Taiwanese and half white teenager whose mother suffered from depression for an extended period of time before she committed suicide. She feels guilty as she grieves because the same day that her mother died she was kissing her best friend Axel. Her grief sends her on a journey to meet her maternal grandparents, chase after the bird who is her mother, and learn about secrets in her family's past.

This book is about navigating mental health and grief. Grieving a loved one, grieving a broken family, grieving what could have been and what should have been. It is so befitting that Pan chooses color as one of the main devices for helping her main characters, who are teenagers, express their feelings to each other. And it is amazing and moving the way Pan creates the juxtaposition of vibrant colors versus what one might feel is the absence of color when death, in this case suicide occurs.

The magical realism is superbly interwoven into the narrative and reminded me of one of Toni Morrison's works, Song of Solomon. The bird, the ghosts and the time traveling are all so believable that you almost forget that it they are magical elements and not real ones. Ok, I have some additional gushing. I loved this book and I can't wait for it to be considered a classic. If I was in the classroom I would either teach it or have book clubs as well as put it in my classroom library.

I received a free hard copy of this book at the ALAN Workshop.

Would I Read it Again? Yeeeeeeeesssssssssssss absolutely! I loved the audio version, when I wasn't able to keep going on the audiobook, I picked up where I left off in my hard copy.

Recommend: Yes. There are trigger warnings you should be aware of in the novel. It deals with a mother's depression and suicide as well as the family's grief. But you can definitely tell that this author is a scholar of some of the great writers such as Toni Morrison and William Faulkner.

YA Review: What Kind of Girl

What Kind of Girl by Alyssa B. Sheinmel
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Star Rating: 4.5

"That's a very serious accusation." A girl walks into her principal's office and reveals that her boyfriend, a well-liked athlete, has been hitting her and she wants it to stop. Her proof, a black eye from that weekend. But the abuse started three months earlier, which begs the question "what kind of girl lets it go on so long? What kind of girl doesn't go to the police? What kind of girl would still be in love with the boy abusing her? These are the questions that her classmates ask, but also more importantly, the girl asks of herself too. The teenage girls in this book grapple with how they see themselves, how they perceive others see them and who they actually are inside.

There were so many layers to the characters in this book. No one is one-dimensional, they are actually on the other end of the spectrum, which made this book a heavy read. I don't want to give away any spoiler alerts so I won't even put names to the characters. But I definitely took a huge double-take, reverse, re-read and pause before I proceeded into part two.

I was thankful for the trigger warnings, because it not only dealt with domestic violence, but bulimia, cutting, anxiety, drug use. The issues are super heavy and it made it a really tough read during certain parts.

This story did a great job of highlighting that you can feel multiple things and question yourself repeatedly in difficult situations and that is okay, because it's part of the process of understanding who you are. The effects of self-isolation and the healing benefits of communication, love and support when you allow it into your life.

This was a heavy book, but I'm sure that it will help teenagers who are grappling with these issues as well as those who need to develop empathy for those who are going through these ordeals.

I received this book as an ARC from the publisher at the ALAN Workshop.

Would I Read it Again?: No. There were too many issues packed into the characters for me. It was tough reading some of the scenes. But I do have more empathy and some additional understanding now for people that suffer from those issues.

Recommend: Cautiously. If you are an educator recommending an independent read to a kid, know who you are recommending too. There are a LOT of triggers in this book. It also gets a little graphic in spots regarding the self-harm. (I hate the sight of blood...)But that isn't to say that it wouldn't help a lot of teens either going through the same thing, know someone who is, or have no clue about these issues and therefore have no empathy for others suffering from them.